1/??/25
Figuring out the coding is hard but I think i'm getting the hang of it :333 Trying to figure out the aesthetic of the page rn
1/27/25
Might relapse todayjfgudygghhyfgh Parents want me to clean my room and it's so overwelming and horrible. There's mold, food and dirty clothes aughfghghgggggggggggg
1/??/25
fucked up my room again.. ughgghgggg I didn't relapse last time but it's a good chance i might tomorrow. I don't know if i should tell my therapist either. I do have an appointment with him tomorrow but jesus last time I talked about seriouslu wanting to cut a but he called the fucking cops on me to just make sure I was fine. Which FINE I GET IT he's doing his job and I don't blame him but gosh it sucked. I even told him that I wasn't going to do it while we had our session :/ He still called him tho fdhjkgj. Anywaym,I feel like cutting is the only way i'll get my room done. Every time I try to clean I get overwelmed and the urge to cut is sooo overwelminmg. So then I have to stop so I dont set myself back again. Which results in my room never getting clean. Fucking stuppid. I don't want to tell my parents cuz they'd want to help me and I DONT NEED THAT. They've already helped me cleanb so many times and it mekes me feel so pathetic and stupid. I'm such an incompedent loser.
3/31/25
Watched a video about dispatching and skinning a rabbit out of curiosity. Accidently got turned on when the guy started to cut the belly open and the guts spilled out. I left to reddit (and ignored what getting hot and heavy to that video said about me) after watching the video to jerk it to guro on r/yaoiguro cause r/Guro SUCKS. See r/Yaoiguro has SOUL in the art and the artists are actual freaks who know how to make guro in a sexy way. Oh Yeah I forgot to blog this but I turned 18 on march 17th